I will be by youre side
by That wont stop the rain
Summary: Jo got into a car accident. Nobody knows what the future holds. Shows a sensitive Alex.
1. Chapter 1

It has been 3 weeks.

3 weeks since she got into the car accident.

I can´t stay here anymore and do nothing.

She has been unconscious for 3 weeks.

Mere will only let me go see her a couple days a week since I get all emotional and then I get sloppy and unmotivated in work.

I try to scoop by her room every time I can, even if mere or cristina won´t let me, I need to see her.

Every day I wake up hoping she has woken up so the first thing I do every morning since 3 weeks ago is call Cristina, she gets all the updates because she operated on her. She was able to fix all the damage and Derek was able to stop the bleeders in her brain but she hasn´t woken up.

At first I couldn´t believe it, the whole car thing I thought it was a sick joke or something but then I saw her in the ICU and all the guilt started flowing through my body.

It´s my fault. I ruin everything.

She was on the way to my house and it was snowing.

They found her car upside down under a bridge. I guess we got lucky someone spotted the car right when it was happened and called an ambulance immediately.

I stayed with her in the hospital for four days, sleeping there and when I needed to go on shifts I´ll go do them but I couldn´t stop thinking about her. Every time I went back up to her room I had this excitement, I thought maybe she would be up and conscious. But I get there and she looks the same and then I start worrying.

Will she wake up?

If she does, when?

Will she remember everything?

Will she remember me?

I finally got to agitated and depressed so Mere literally dragged me over to my house and since Cristina practicaly lives there now, Mere´s got her ´´taking care´´ of me. Wich consistes in her asking me every hour if im okay and making this idiot jokes I only find funny because it´s Cristina trying to pull off a joke.

I don´t get any sleep here cause I´m afraid I might get a call telling me she´s dead.

At least in the hospital, sleeping with her I knew I would be the first knowing if she wakes up. Cause she would wake up to me.

I can´t stand that I´m here and she´s there and I can´t stand the thought she may wake up and not remember anything.

This feels worse than when Izzie woke up and had short term memory. At least she was conscious.

I´m in the couch she gave me staring at the wall waiting for my alarm to go off and go to the hospital, at least work is an excuse to go pass the halls and see her.

Cristina comes running down the stairs.

- Is she awake? is there any update? is everything ok?

- Yes Alex, everything is ok besides the fact that she hasn´t waken up yet.

- I sigh. Can you please convince mere to let me go and stay the nights with her. I really don´t get much sleep here. At least I did there.

- Alex you get al cranky and emotional and you don´t seem like you when you are there, you know, careless Alex, Evil spawn?

- Do I seem like myself now?

-Cristina let´s out a sigh, I´ll try she says.

thoughts? I totally have a story in my mind for this fic. Prepare for some tears and angst. Sorry if my english is bad, I´m chilean, keep that in mind when you read my fics.


	2. JOW POV, Before the accident

** Jo´s POV**

**Before accident.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don´t own Pearl Jam´s song ( last kiss ) and I don´t own grey´s anatomy or any of the characters.**

It´s valentines day! You should try and cheer up.

Seriously? Valentines day? Last time I heard only people that are together celebrate that. And I´m not into all that lovey dovey crap and heart shaped candy, they are disgusting, a beer is way better, and I can drink beer every day. He says.

There is more to valentines day than you think there is. And I always celebrate it even though I´ve never celebrated it being in a relationship and this year it wont be any different but hey, We can go watch free movies in the drive through movie theather here in town, They are having all kinds of movies at all times tomorrow for free just because it´s valentines day, aprecciate it.

Are you asking me out on a date, on valentines day, Wilson? He says with a large smirk.

I don´t care what way you put it if it means you are coming with me.

Please, I beg with kind puppy eyes, even though, I know he wouldn´t say no.

He´s pager goes off.

Well then, I will pick you up at the outsides of the hospital since you are off an hour later than me, he says actually smiling and not smirking.

And I will bring beer and truffles, maybe.

Hey wait a second! Actually I invited you so I´m going to pick you up at your house when I finish my shift and I´m bringing heart shaped candy so you better bring the beer. I say.

He puts his hands on his waist and frowns looking confused.

He tries to open his mouth to say something but I stop him.

Don´t argue with me Karev! I say and leave as fast as I can so he doesn´t change my plans.

* * *

I love hanging out with Alex, he´s like the closest person I have, I´ve never had a friend like him. Even though he sometimes can be cocky and arrogant, there is more to him than you know. He´s the sweetest person in the planet! I can see it in his eyes and sometimes he actually is sweet with me. I try not to think about him as more than a friend but lately We´ve been hanging out so much that when I´m not with him, I´m thinking about him. I know he has screwed almost everyone in the hospital but I feel that with me, it´s different, If we wanted to screw me he would of already tried. He liked me as a friend first and that is what makes it so special. But I don´t really know if he feels something for me, I know I do, But I´m going to kill these butterflies because if it means ruining our friendship, It´s not worth it.

If he feels something for me, he will tell me eventually and then we could try to work it out as more as friends. But right now, I really enjoy us this way.

It´s 8.00 Pm and my shift is over, I gather up my stuff, get the heart shaped candy and 6 beers in case he forgets, wich he won´t.

I rush to my car, turn it on and see al this snow outside, wich we all find weird since its valentines day and the snow should have stopped weeks ago. I guess this is motherearth making valentines day more beautiful and snowy.

I don´t mind it. Even though it´s really really weird. It makes the day more special.

I start driving really fast since I´m a bit late and the movie I want to watch starts at 8.30.

The road starts getting slippery and I can see the cement shimmering because of the snowflakes.

I start driving faster and I clean out the snow out of the windshield cause I really couldn´t see anything.

It then starts getting very slippery and all the car weight shiftes to the right and next thing I know, my car is upside down and I can´t feel my body, I can barely open my eyes and all I see is water, bushes and broken glass. I try to move, but my arms won´t move, my eyes start closing and I can´t hear anything anymore.

_We were out on a date in my daddy´s __**car**__,_

_We haven´t driven __**very far,**_

_There in the road,__** up straight ahead,**_

_The car was stalled__** the engine was dead**__,_

_I couldn´t stop so__** I swerved to the right**__,_

_I´ll never forget, __**the sound that night,**_

**_The screamin´tires, the bustin´glass,_**

_The painful scream that I heard _**last.**

_THOUGHTS, READERS? XOXO_


	3. Hope

Alex woke up sweaty, breathing heavily and pissed off at himself for worrying to much.

He couldn´t sleep because he worried, and he fell asleep worrying.

He knew he shouldn´t worry, it made him feel like crap and he couldn´t focus at anything and it has gotten worse the past few days, the more days that go by the more he worries.

She should have woken up already.

He took a shower and rushed up to Cristina´s room.

-Yang! he screamed as he knocked the door.

-Go away, I´m trying to get some sleep she replied as she took her pillow and covered her face with it.

-C´mon Cristina, let me in!

Cristina really wanted to get some sleep but she felt guilty being unkind to Alex because Mere left him in charge of her.

She got up, opened the door and Alex rushed inside. Thank God Owen wasn´t here.

- Do you have any idea of what time it is? You should enjoy your day off, since being at the hospital these past weeks for you has been hard. She said.

- It´s hard for me being there but it´s harder for me being here. I feel like someone is going to call me and tell me she´s brain dead, I don´t have to worry about that there. And I´m sorry if I woke you up but I barely can sleep and when I do, I have frickin´nightmares. I just can´t stand it anymore.

Cristina stood in her room staring at him with no idea of what to do. She wasn´t used to Alex telling her how she feels or anything. Mere always took care of that.

- Anyway, Do you have any news? he said.

- No. She muttered.

- I´m sorry Alex. If there was anything I could do I...

Cristina started to feel Alex´s pain. She imagined Owen the way Jo was and felt pain running through her body and tears filling up her lids. She wouldn´t want to be in house arrest while Owen is in the hospital and she wouldn´t want to be there and not being able to see him. She put on her long jacket, and zipped it entirely. She wasn´t in the mood to dress up and she wanted to go fast.

- Get in the car, we are going to go see her and you are staying there until she wakes up or until you want to come back because you clearly feel better there than here.

Alex thought that he would feel better being with her, Mere didn´t let him see her because she thought he needed to clear his mind a little. And it actually made Alex feel better for two or three days but then he couldn´t stand feeling like he didn´t know anything. When he had free time during shifts, he would go to the ICU and take a peek outside her window but that was as far as he could go. He and Meredith would go inside her room on the way out, when they finished they´re shifts. But what bothered Alex was that Mere didn´t let him stay the night, because nights far away from her were the worst. He knew Mere didn´t let him stay because she cared about him and she wanted him to get better, but the only way he would get better was if she woke up. He feels guilty being with her, but he feels worse being without her and not knowing.

* * *

Cristina and Alex arrived to the hospital.

- Cristina, thank you he muttered with a sly smile.

Alex rushed himself to her room and entered it. She looked the same way as she looked the last time he saw her, she was hooked to a bunch of cables that kept her organs from failing, and pumped blood for her. He laid beside her and fell asleep looking at her, feeling no guilt, just hope.


	4. Girls

**Disclaimer: I don´t own grey´s anatomy, Shonda does. I added some Japril to make it more interesting. Please review :)**

Alex sat in his couch lounging his feet to Cristina´s donation to the house, a coffee table. Cristina may not be girly but the coffee table sure as hell was. It matched the couch perfectly.

Alex, I´m not trying to be rude or anything, but you need to understand there is a chance she may not wake up. And it has been almost a month now. - Jackson said.

I´m a doctor, don´t you think I know that? - Alex said frowning.

I just don´t understand why I always get so frickin screwed up in the romance department. She was my friend and suddenly she isn´t just my friend anymore. I really started to develop strong feelings for her dude. Alex said staring at his recently purchased six pack wich was laying on the coffee table unopened. It just felt wrong drinking without her.

Instead of numbing the pain, it actually made it worse.

Did she know you were into her? Jackson asked.

I... I have no idea, Alex responded.

I don´t think I´ll be able to survive this crap again, you know? Alex said still staring at the six pack.

I just hope she wakes up, there is always a chance. My ex wife had a 5% chance of survival and look at her, she survived and probably got married again. When I was an intern, Mer had this patient who was like vegetal for 16 years but he woke up and he could talk and remember stuff. I don´t want her to wake up not being able to speak or... I´m so frickin´ tired of worrying.

I know man, anything could happen. The only thing we can do is wait. Avery said tapping his back. I gotta go, see you tonight in the hospital.

I´ll be there. Alex replied.

Alex has been staying in the hospital every night since Mer finally let him stay there. Being close to her actually calmed him and when he closed his eyes and laid with her, wrapping her up with his arms he forgot she was unconscious and he kept telling himself they were just sleeping and nothing was going to happen to her because he was holding her and he wasn´t going to let her go. He was protecting her. But then he woke up and there she was, laying in the hospital bed and there he was, laying beside her grasping her hand tightly as tears flooded his eyes.

When that happens, he leaves fast and completes his shifts, if he leaves early he goes home and he drinks beer with Jackson and sometimes Mer joins to cheer him up. Then when night time comes and he´s not on shifts, he goes and stays with her.

Want to go to Joe´s when our shift is over? Avery asks leaning on the nurses desk.

Sure, Alex says smirking.

You know you are not the only one with girl problems. April is dating that paramedic now. He says frowning.

At least Kepner is conscious - Alex responds.

Besides, you know she´s into you, she is using that paramedic to make you jealous, every girl plays that move, it´s a bit obvious. End whatever you have going on with Stephanie and she will run back to you. Alex says.

You are screwing an intern to get over Kepner, basically. And it looks like it isn´t working.

Nope, it isn´t Avery says looking down.

I´m suprised you never screwed Wilson. I donpt mean to sound disrespectful but it was kinda weird coming from you. You have practicaly screwed every female you make eye contact with.

Douche. It´s different with her - Alex says.

I tried to be her drinking buddy, nothing else. But you know, you can´t choose who you have feelings for.

She is like the prohibited apple. Can´t get it but you know it tastes better than all the other apples together. Alex says.

I wanted to take it slow so, you know, I don´t screw things up. But I guess things got screwed up anyway.

Look at you, analyzing stuff. - Jackson says.

I´ll be waiting for you in the bar, you should go so we can drink our girl problems up. Jackson says laughing.

Alex smirks.

Meredith comes rushing down the halls sweating, takes off her scrub cap and sighs.

Alex, she´s awake.


	5. It is what it is

**Disclaimer: I don´t own anything.**

**Jo. W POV**

Jo opened her eyes feeling nauseous. She didn´t know where she was and what happened. She couldn´t see very well either and couldn´t figure out what was happening. All she saw were blue spots moving, everywhere. She then made an effort and opened her eyes widely and she knew. Everything came flashing down her memory, small bits that she put together. She then remembered everything.

She remembered it was valentines day, she was in her car and there was snow everywhere. She then realized all the blue she was seeing were scrubs, now it all made sence. She had been in a car accident.

**Alex. K POV**

Alex started running towards Jo´s room, he felt a mixture of feelings lingering through his body. His hands were sweaty and his face felt hot. He arrived to her room and wasn´t suprised to see her surrounded by nurses and doctors. Cristina was there checking on her stats. I rush inside practicaly pushing all the nurses surrounding her.

I grab her hand and kneel down. Jo, Jo can you hear me? I mutter squeezing her hand. No response.

She has her eyes partly open but hasn´t said anything.

She then starts seizing and I stand up quickly.

Yang! - I scream.

Someone page Dr. Shepherd! - Cristina screams.

I start to panic and I lean against the wall with my hands in my head unable to think.

Alex you can´t be in here, Someone get him out, now! - Cristina says while putting a pillow in between her legs and holds her still while she seizes.

Alex, come with me - Meredith mutters while grabbing me by the shoulders. Meredith takes me to the waiting room and we sit down.

It´s not fair - I say shrugging.

I know Alex. But she woke up, that´s a great sign, you just have to have faith and I know it´s hard, with everything that has happened to you, to us, friends we have lost, family... Meredith looks down and lets out a sigh. Everything will be just fine - Meredith says.

Derek and Cristina come towards us and Meredith stands up.

We took some tests, she has excessive fluid on her brain, wich is causing brain swelling wich caused her seizure. It´s normal with patients who don´t wake up from surgery in a long time. We are going to perform a decompressive craniectomy now so the swelling goes down. It doesn´t look that bad but we will know more when we are inside.

Can I go see her? I ask.

The nurses are preping her for the surgery, you can watch from the galery. Derek says.

Oh screw it - I say and then leave.

I run down the halls and the nurses are taking her to the OR now.

Stop! Wait a second, I say to the nurses taking her in.

I place a small kiss on her forehead and lean down to whisper in her ear.

You don´t get to die on me.

**_I will be by you´re side. _**

* * *

Thanks for reading, sorry for the shortness! excitement and more cliffhangers coming.


	6. How I feel

Alex waited unpatiently outside the OR sitting down under the OR board with Meredith to his left, she insisted on staying.

Mer, seriously I´m fine, you probably have alot of work to do- Alex says.

I´ve got Brooks covering my pre ops and post ops, Zola is with Sofia in day care and you know where Derek is. I thought you may want some company and even if you don´t I´m staying and you know better than to argue with me.- Meredith says smiling.

Alex looks down and lets out a sigh.

Okay, here´s the thing, when I´m depressed I really need Cristina because I really need to feel like I´m not alone you know, and I know you´ve got Jackson but I´m here for you too Alex.

Yeah, I know that mer, He smiles. It´s just that this reminds me of, you know. Alex says bobbing his head.

I´ve been thinking alot these days. At first I thought I would never find someone again and I stoped looking, I was done with feelings and relationships, whatever, but then she came along and... She makes me happy. Alex says with a knot in his throat.

I know, you deserve it. Everything is going to be fine. She is awake. Derek is very good at doing what he does. Meredith says.

She doesn´t even know.- Alex says with a sad smirk.

Oh she knows, we always do. Meredith says.

Thanks, for everything you have done for me these past weeks.

That´s what I´m here for. Meredith responds.

Cristina comes out the OR, takes off her cap and mask and approaches to where Alex and Meredith are. They both stand up quickly.

What? What is it? is everything ok? Alex asks.

Yes, Derek was able to fix her edema but she will need alot of recovery because she started bleeding alot, but her other organs look good, she is breathing well. And after she recovers from her brain surgery, she will need therapy to get her muscles back on track.

Alex and Meredith sigh.

Meredith hits Cristina in the arm.

Ouch! What was that for? Cristina asks.

Don´t ever do that again! Meredith says.

Do what?

Come walking down to us taking off your scrub cap and looking all dramatic, for a split second I thought she was dead! Meredith says.

Cristina gives her the typical Cristina knows best look.

* * *

Jo hasn´t waken up yet from her latest surgery. Alex sits beside her, caressing her hand and looking at her knowing that she was going to wake up any minute and he wanted to be the one she first looks at.

Alex feels a small movement on her index finger and feels a heartburn of excitement. He then notices that Jo is opening her eyes. She looks at him.

Jo? Alex asks with his heart pounding out of his chest.

Al.. Alex? She says looking at him with her eyes slowly opening until she gets full sight of him.

Alex squeezes her hand tightly feeling he is about to cry. Im here.

Jo, you were in...

I know... I remember. She slowly mutters.

How much t-time... Have... I... Jo tries to finish her sentence but the pain she feels rushing down her body every time she tries to open her mouth, is too much.

It´s ok, you don´t have to talk. I will tell you everything. Alex says.

She slowly nods looking at him for response.

Jo, when you came in, from you´re accident, you had very severe injuries but Sheperd took care of them and it was all looking good but then you didn´t wake up... You were in a coma for a month. Alex says looking straight into her eyes.

Jo blinks very fast, breathing hard and fast.

Jo, Jo it´s ok I was here the whole time. He says and she starts breathing normaly again.

In a split second, her face was covered with tears.

Alex stands up and cleans off her tears slowly with his thumb, caressing every part of her face.

He then places a kiss on her forehead closing his eyes, making sure any tears of his own fall out.

You are okay now, I´m with you and I´m not letting anything happen to you, he says.

Jo looks at him smiling as she has an impulse to tell him how she feels, She feels it´s time, and she is willing to take a risk.

She brings up all the saliva in her mouth and all the strenght she has to say this words.

**_I...I love you._**

* * *

Thanks for reading! thoughts?


	7. Love

**Thank you for all you're reviews. I love my readers! Ps: I love the perks of being a wallflower so you may notice a little quote in here!**

Alex stared at Jo uneasy and uncertain about what he was going to say. Should he say it back? he knew what he felt and he was sure she knew too. But he doesn't want her to think he says this three little but very special words to anyone. Sometimes it may seem he does, but he has actually only said them to one woman in his entire life, he thought he would be with that woman, but things happen and asides everything that has happened to him and everything that he has done, he truly knew he was making the right choice when he was letting her go because at the end, we accept the love we deserve. And that is how he knew it, he knew he knew he was making the right choice accepting Jo to form a bigger part in his life. He knew he deserved her.

In this difficult moments in life, when you think it can't get any worse, or you think it's to surreal to be true, you have to hold, because it may seem like you're world is falling apart into so many pieces you think you may not be able to put back together. But in the end, you always can, piece by piece until you find yourself. Alex felt pieces coming back together when Jo woke up, when her recent surgery went well, a million pieces where back in place, he felt he could live with those pieces forever but then she slipped out those words, and he was complete.

He let her words sync in. He didn't want to say them just yet, he wanted to wait for a special moment to tell her, but he knew that she could tell he loved her back with the look he had in his eyes and the smooth warmness she felt when his hands were placed in hers, fitting perfectly, like it was meant to be.

His smile still remained intact and he hasn't taken his eyes away from hers, all he felt, he could see it right in there, in her deep brown chocolate eyes, the same eyes that took him to paradise, the same eyes that he dreamed of in his endless, sleepless nights without her conscious. He felt he needed to say something but he didn't want to ruin this moment full of feelings he didn't see coming anytime soon, less tonight.

Alex? she slowly murmurs moving slightly.

Would you hold me? she mutters, looking down.

I would hold you forever, I say.

I stand up from the bedside chair and accomodate the cabled hooked onto her. I lay down beside her holding her hands, our foreheads touching and I close my eyes.

My pager goes off and I realized I fell asleep, and so did she, I placed a soft kiss on her cheek and slowly and quietly left the room so she doesn't wake up.

As I run down the halls to the E.R meredith stops me.

Alex, you shouldn't have been paged - Meredith says.

What? who paged me then? - Alex responds.

Meredith looks down.

What is it mer? are you ok? - Alex asks.

Yes im ok but is just that... You can't go to the E.R right now.

Mer, what is it?

This seriously couldn't have happened in a better moment... Meredith says quietly looking down.

What? What happened mer, seriously.

Sorry you were not suposed to hear that. - Meredith says. You can't handle this right now.

Alex hears a familiar voice, at first he didn't recognize it, but now he sure hell did. What was she doing here? he asked himself.

Alex... the familiar voice says.

Alex turns around and his mouth opens widely feeling sick to his stomach.

What was Izzie doing here?

* * *

OMG! PS: dont worry, this is a **jolex fic. Thank you for reading.**


	8. This feeling

He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. It was all blurry and it felt like he was dreaming, Although he wasn't happy about any of this. He was pissed, he clearly had been pushed to the breaking point, just today he started to feel a little more normal, with Jo awake and responsive. But now this?, For a moment he thought his mouth was going to open and all his lunch would come out. But he had to deal with this. This was bullshit, his luck couldn't get any better. Seriously.

He turned around, pissed and walked his way to the nurses desk where she was leaning on. She looked different, her hair grew back but it was curled up and poofier. He quickly scanned her hands, to see if she was married or not, not that he cared very much now, he was in love with Jo. Who know's what she'd been doing these past few years, or who she was, Alex didn't knew this person, he knew the person she was three years ago, but people change and three years was enough to make big changes. He had changed and moved on, He still couldn't help wondering what her life like now, was she still a surgeon?

She clearly went through allot of crap when she was here, but so did he, and he didn't left, he didn't just quit. He grew up here, the years in Seattle Grace Mercy West were the best but also the worst of his life. This hospital is his home and his coworkers are his family.

* * *

**Alex POV**

He leaned down on the nurses desk, just a few inches in between them and without even being able to look straight into her eyes, he opened his mouth and began to speak.

You should leave - I said shrugging, feeling my heart pumping out of my chest which made me uncomfortable. I still felt sick to my stomach and as I spoke I felt as if knots where forming on my insides.

She didn't took her eyes off of mine, which was seriously getting me nervous, she was intimidating me.

Alex... I just want to talk.

Well, you are about three years too late.

As I turned around and started to walk my way out of this, she grabbed me by my shirt, which gave me goosebumps and she quickly started blurting everything out.

Alex, please, I came back for you... to talk to you, to check on you... I spent the last three years regretting that I left, I know we had reasons that time, but the reasons where not just good enough and I couldn't bring up the courage to come back until now, it was too much, it was consuming me. I couldn't stand the feeling anymore, maybe you have moved on and honestly if that is what makes you happy, I'm happy too, but I just want to talk. Please, Alex, you don't know how difficult is for me to say this. She stopped talking and let go of my shirt slowly.

When she stopped talking, I felt like someone had just shot me or something, the pain he experienced was similar to the one he experienced when he was shot. Quick but very, very painful. I could feel mixed emotions, sadness, regret and guilt mostly, I missed her, before Jo, she was all I could think about. I cried myself to sleep, I numbed my pain with other woman and god knows what else I did under the influence of alcohol, this was constant until I numbed myself out of the pain and suddenly, everything was quite back to normal. I had Jackson and Meredith, I could count on them. But then Jo came along and she made me forget completely about Izzie, I remembered her sometimes but I didn't feel the pain, or anything. My feelings for her are now gone, but that doesn't mean I don't care about her. She was... Izzie. I couldn't stop caring about her, even if she was just a memory. In the end, she changed him and he had to be grateful about it. I cared about her and I guess I always will, even though im not in love with her anymore.

I looked down building up the courage to look at her straight in the eyes. I finally did and started speaking.

I want to talk too, I want to know how you are, who you are now, I care about you. I always cared. But it's selfish you do this to me, come back three years later, I'm different and it took me long to get over you, it was a rough patch I don't want to go through again.

She leans into me and hugs me, I hesitate at first, then I hugged her back.

Can you meet me outside of Joe's tonight? is the bar still around? she asks.

Yes, it is... I'll be there, I say shrugging.

As she walked away, I try to sync in what just happened. She came back, out of the blue, unexpected, I never thought she was coming back. She just wanted to talk, and frankly, so did I, I had to lift off this weight out of me. I missed her, she is Izzie, even if she has changed, she will always be Izzie, I couldn't not care. She formed a big part of my life, she took a piece of my heart I never thought I would get back, but I did. Jo did.

* * *

I walked down the hallway fast, anxious to get to Jo's room, it has only been a few hours without her and I needed to see her.

Where have you been? Jo asks slowly trying to sit down.

Hey, easy, I say helping her sit down properly.

How have you been feeling? I ask caressing her cheek.

My arms are a little sore, my fingers too, nothing major though. No post op fever or anything odd. She says smiling.

I smile and I place a soft kiss on her cheek.

I missed you. - I say.

Me too, I woke up and you weren't here.

Well, I got paged and I didn't want to wake you up. I say.

She moves over and taps the empty space of the bed. I smirk and climb up beside her.

We should talk, whatever, you know...

I cut her off, I know, I say placing my hand on top of hers.

When you get better I will tell you everything, but I want you to know something right now.

I lean closer to her, put my mouth close to her ear smelling her soft scent. Then, I whisper. I love you, too.

She quickly grabbed my face and our lips touched, her mouth was soft and hot, everything I desired. It tasted like watermelon and it eased my pain, I stopped worrying, All I could think about right now is her and how I want this to last, his feelings for her were magnifying. Our tongues swirl around exploring new territory. I place my hands on her face and her hands ended up on my neck, feeling the warmness on her hands, which gave me chills.

We slowly pulled away.

That was... Amazing- She says.

You are amazing- I say placing my hand on her cheek, caressing her soft skin that drove me nuts.

She placed her head on my chest and I wrapped my arms around her.

I love you so much- I say.

I was speechless and I had no words to describe what I was feeling, I knew it was greater than anything I've ever felt before, that's for sure. I knew that with her, I was truly complete and nothing was going to pull me away from her.


	9. Always

**Alex POV**

Hey. I say. My eyes placed on hers. Are you awake? I mutter.

Awake and responsive. - She says, slowly opening her eyes.

Your kinesiology therapy starts today. How are you feeling for that, are you ready? I can ask for...

Alex, I'm fine, I've had enough rest. It's time for me to start adapting again. She says cutting me off.

What are you staring? you psycho. She says laughing.

I love it when you say my name, I say bitting my lips. My mind starts visualizing the things I'm going to do to her when she gets better. God, she turns me on.

I shake out my nasty thoughts and scan her chart quickly, making sure everything was running smoothly.

You don't have to check my chart every ten minutes. You can ask me you know.

I smile kissing her softly on the lips.

Best way to shut a woman up, huh?

I smile. I need to tell you something, I say looking down.

Hey, look at me. She says.

I grab her hand and squeeze it.

Jo's smile fades. Is it me? Is it bad? My chart looks completely normal... Maybe they are making me think I'm okay so I don't worry because I might get worse. My stats are okay and I'm breathing well. She mumbles. Crap, is it my heart? Though it wouldn't make sence because I had brain surgery but we all know what ...

No, Jo, you are fine, your chart isn't lying. I keep an eye on you all day and I made sure you've got the best doctors and nurses on you're case. And you've got me. Which is a plus point. You are fine, we are fine, I say still holding on to her hand.

But I want you to know something, so you don't hear any rumors floating around.

Jo sighs and nods in response.

Before I met you, obviously, I was married. Kinda.

What? Seriously? she says, her eyes wide open, with a trace of confusement.

It isn't a subject I like to talk about, or even remember I say shrugging, looking a bit chagrined.

When the time eventually came, I was going to tell you, but something happened and I want you to know everything, now.

She nods, You don't have to tell me now. Tell me when you are ready. She says wide eyed, squeezing my hand tightly.

I can't, I feel it's time to let it out and I don't want to keep stuff from you anymore. I say, looking grave and feeling overwhelmed.

She places her palm on my cheek. A soft palm, that by the warmness on it, I know I can trust her and I know that telling her is the right choice. Of all the woman he was with after Izzie, she was the first one that made him feel secure and good about himself, the truth was, she was good for him.

I placed my hand on top of hers, closing my eyes and leaning on it. I sigh letting out a groan.

I kept silent for a few seconds, until I felt it was time to start talking again.

Three years ago, almost four, Well, we were five. Me, Meredith, Cristina... George and Izzie. We were Dr. Bailey's interns, we were like a family. I say smiling while remembering everything the five of us have been through together. _Sure we had our ups and downs. We cut LVAD wires and got involved with patients, but we were a team_.

We practically lived in the same house. My house, Meredith's old house, was like a frat house. She started living there with George and Izzie I mutter _her_ name slowly, remembering the pain. I clear out my throat and continue.

Then I lived with them, and we were together all day, every day, if it wasn't in rounds it was in Mer's house. _My house now._

Great, I feel like I'm rambling.

No, go on, I like detailed stories. She says looking intrigued.

I was kind of a big douche back then, like, seriously. Izzie kind of fixed me.

Wait. She was you're wife right? And what happened to the other one, what was his name?

I frown picturing George throwing himself in front of a bus for some stranger. George_ 007. Who was now gone._

George, I respond. He died, he got hit by a bus, he saved a stranger. He died a hero.

Jo opens her mouth in surprise closing it quickly. Gazing at me to continue.

But before that, Izzie got Metastatic Melanome and she discovered it at stage four. It was pretty bad, you know. I say staring down, scratching my head.

But before all that, I fell in love with Izzie, it had been going on and off for a few years, but I kinda always knew I was going to end up with her. She changed me, she made me a better person, but she also made me go through what I thought were the worst weeks, months of my life. When she got cancer, She flatlined after her brain surgery and George died. She was dealing with allot. George was her best friend. After that, we got married and we were overcoming and she was getting better, Her cancer was nearly gone. But then the hospital merged with Mercy West, Which Im sure you knew, and there were budget cuts. Izzie made a mistake and they fired her. She blamed me and then she left me, leaving nothing but a note.

I look up, dizzy, feeling my eyes heavy.

The thing is, she came back, yesterday, and frankly I don't know what to do. But I can't shut her down, It doesn't feel right. Even though she shut me down.

It's ok Alex, you have me, you don't need to do anything that you don't want to, or that feels wrong.

I was crying. How in hell did that happen. Crap. I murmur. Sorry.

Alex, look at me. She grabs my face with both of her palms.

You don't have to apologize for crying. You have clearly been through allot, I didn't know, Alex im very sorry, I can't imagine what you're worst weeks were like. You're actual worst weeks. We don't need to talk about them right now. But you can tell me when you feel it's time. It will make you feel better, lighter. I can give you advice. I aced psych in med school. I don't mean to treat you like a patient either, But I have been through rough patched too and I know what it is like, sorta, I have never been married but... Alex my point is, I'm here, you can count on me, I care about you, I'm not leaving you.

I fall down on her shoulders and start weeping. This wouldn't have happened with another woman, He wouldn't let other woman see his true colors. But somehow it felt right with Jo.

I lean close to her ear. My worst weeks were when you were in a coma, for what I felt those weeks, I realized I was in love with you. Harder in love than I ever was with Izzie.

* * *

I left Jo's room after telling her I was going to meet up with Izzie. When I told her, there was no sign of jealousy and she didn't looked worried either. She trusted me.

* * *

It was time for me to meet up with her. The moment has come.

I enter Joe's, sit down on my usual place, beer in hand, waiting.

Alex... _I hear._

* * *

**_I Know, sad... THANK YOU FOR READING, ALEX AND IZZIE MEET UP COMING UP NEXT. Please review, thanks 3 BTW... JOLEX COMING UP IN THE SHOW... I BET WE HAVE A KISS BEFORE SEASON FINALE! YAY! (Arizona style)_**


	10. Pieces

**Alex POV**

I turn around and there she is. Her eyes glowy showing happiness with a trace of bitterness, I can see that she is worried and anxious, I knew most of her expressions and what they meant, and I guess she _knew _mine pretty well. She is wearing a dress, mostly covered by a large cardigan and navy flats, matching it.

I find myself gazing at her for a moment. Then I come back to reality.

-Um.. Oh, We should get a table. I say, forcing my eyes to look up.

-Yeah um... I should of told you earlier but, I got a table at a place near here, if you don´t mind. It´s just that, earlier I came in and... It just reminds me of everything I´ve lost. She mutters.

I nod. Feeling a burn on my chest

-It´s ok. I say.

-We should get going. She says.

-We can go in my car, if you want. I say rapidly.

-She gazes at me and I look down, awkwardly.

-Come with me, I say and she follows.

-So, what is the place called? I ask feeling my head heavy. _This is wrong. What have I gotten myself into._

_-_Lime. From what I heard it was new, anyway, this town has changed alot. Its like, five minutes straight and then to the left. I´ll show you. She says half smiling.

Ignoring her directions, I reply to her comment.

-The people have changed alot too. I say with a few pauses I did not expect.

_Turns out I can´t speak properly when I have a huge knot on my throat. I hope she didn´t notice, back then she would have and maybe she did. Anyway, I need to stop worrying so much and get this over with. __**I want a closure.**_

I sit up straight and look forward, driving slowly and not even glancing at her. There has been a couple minutes of silence, which I enjoy because I get to think. Although I can´t think properly right now. God this is so frustrating.

-Alex... She says, turning her head left to face me.

I feel my palms getting sweaty and I open my mouth, trying to says something, but nothing comes out.

-Alex... She repeats.

-WHAT? I say screaming, jerking the car a little to the right. I freeze for a moment, but then I get back on line.

-I glance at Izzie and realize she´s staring at me, like looking through me, twitching her eyebrow with her mouth a bit open and bloodshot eyes.

She stops looking at me and says quietly -We are here.

I turn to the left and park the car.

I swallow hard.

Are you okay? I ask.

-Am I okay? she says almost sobbing. I am not okay Alex. I thought YOU were okay. That you still remembered me as me but that you could go on with your life, I can´t live my life thinking that I destroyed you and that there is still a piece of you feeling like that, I can see it in your face, in your eyes, everywhere. I don´t mean to sound that your life revolves around me, because I´m sure you have a new life now, and that you have mostly moved on. _She says slowing down._ But I feel like crap thinking that I left that piece of you broken. I can´t live with it.

I sigh. She _did_ remember my expressions.

I have alot going on, maybe more than you imagine and you showing up here at this timing, just complicates stuff, It complicates me, It confuses me. My life revolved around you for almost a two years, two freaking years I couldn´t stop thinking about you, crying about you... I was miserable and I hated you for leaving me like that, Cause I once told you, You couldn´t leave cause´I wouldn´t survive. I survived but barely, like a man gripping the edge of a building with his fingertips, fighting to not_ fall and die_. The truth is I wanted to _fall, _Izzie. It was going to hurt at first but then I was going to be free of the pain. Wanting this bothered me so much, it enfuriated me, You changed me, I would have died for you, you made me and then you blamed me and left me. And even though I said I was moving on, I wanted you to _fight and stay_. I loved you in every way that I knew, every part of me... I mutter slowly. Most parts healed but There. Are. Always. Remains. I slowly mutter.

I turn my head to her and she is wailing, her face covered with her bare hands. She wipes out the tears.

-I´m sorry, Alex. I... I don´t know what to say, If I knew you were feeling like this I would have...

-Would of what? I say frowning.

_-Im sorry._

* * *

yeah I know, weepy and sad... I will continue soon, thanks for reading.


	11. True colors

ALEX POV

She turned quickly to her right, where the car door is and I stopped her. ''Izzie, can we talk in my house?"

"We are going to be late for our reservation" - She mumbles.

I sigh. "Did you hear what I just said?"

"Believe me I heard everything" she says.

Now I was mad, she comes to seattle to talk with me and she expects me

to be fine and completely nice to her? I was telling her the truth. How I felt, that was a big step for me. I barely could talk to Jo about it.

"I was telling the truth, okay?", "That is how I felt before, it's not like I haven't moved on now". "I have a new life" I say.

She turns around and looks at me, nodding.

"We can talk in you're house" she says.

The drive home was silent. She didn't talk and neither did I. All we did was sigh. I almost could taste the bitterness and sorrow in the air.

"We're here" I say.

"You still live with Meredith?" She asks. "Doesn't she live with Shepherd?"

"Mer is living with him and her baby"

"She sold me her house" I say firmly.

We walk out of the car and Avery greets me in the entrance.

"Heyyyyyy why did you took so long, man, I'm so wasted I hooked up with Stephanie and I couldn't stop thinking about April, I think I may have called Stephanie by the wrong name" "Anyway, I don't remember anything else but I have some booze left and we can drink together" "You can drink your Jo-pain away" And we could...

"Is she?" Jackson mumbles, a little tipsy.

"If you don't mind, Avery" " We need some space, I'll check on you later"

I say.

I hear someome coming down the stairs.

"What's all that noise?" "Me and Owen were trying to..." Cristina cuts herself off.

"What is she doing here?" "Does Jo know?" Cristina asks.

I sigh. "Yang, it's not what you think, seriously" "We were just going to talk, can you please take Jackson upstairs?" "I doubt he can get there by himself". "I'll explain everything later" I say frustrated.

Cristina nods at me and gazes at Izzie, then she grabs Jackson by both his arms and drags him upstairs.

I take Izzie into my room.

"Sorry, about all that" "I guess they are a bit surprised" I say.

She looks down and then up, quickly.

"Well, Cristina's still Cristina"

I nod.

"You have grown allot, Alex"

I nod again, uncertain of what to say.

"If you don't mind my asking, who is Jo?"

I Smile, still looking down. The simple thought of Jo made me smile.

"The girl I'm in love with" I say feeling happy and safe.

"In love?" She asks? A bit surprised, frowning.

"She's the only thing that makes sence in my world" "She gave me the courage to come talk to you". "She is the reason I'm still alive". "When you left there was something in my head telling me that I needed to survive and that I was going to be happy again" "she was the reason".

She nods and twitches her eyebrow. Showing me a bittersweet smile.

"I'm happy for you, Alex" she says, pausing a bit.

She turns to me and hugs me, tighter than in the hospital. I hug her back, we stay there for a moment.

"How about you?" I ask. "How has life treated you?" I ask still hugging her?

"I'm single". " I haven't dated since you". "Cancer hasn't come back". "I'm still a surgeon, peds." I have a few friends, none of them real though".

"My mother died." Melanoma".

She says, sounding almost numb.

"Iz", I say. We stop hugging.

"I'm very sorry" I say.

"Well, It was a huge met and she died fast, almost no pain at all" she says.

I grab her hand, showing her support.

"If you ever need a friend, someone to talk to, I'm here." I say.

"Im not in love with you anymore, but you will always have an important piece in my heart" I say.

"But"... She mutters.

"It's okay" "you will get through this"

I say.

"But Im still"... "I havent dated since you, and I dont want to be selfish but...

I take my hand off hers.

Iz...

"Please"," Alex".

Iz...

She starts wailing and I felt as if someone stabbed me right in the gut.

She was in pain. She was still in pain and I moved on.

She leans on my shoulder and I hug her. "Im sorry, Iz" I say.

"Im still in love with you, you are not stupid I bet you already figured it out" she says between sobs.

"I never fell out of love with you, you were the first thing I'll think about first thing at morning and the last at night"

"I prayed for you to be happy and to god to forgive me for how I left you, it was incredibly stupid, you were my husband" ...

"But our reasons back then seemed like important reasons, and that I can't take back, I want to be with you, though I know there is no chance now, but I want us to stay close, you know, even if we can't be together as a couple, I want to try to be you're friend again. I don't want my whole life to be about missing you"

Not knowing what to say sure was stressfull. I was building up in my head what I was going to say and Cristina bursts in, perfect ice breaker. I could use some time to think about what I'm going to say.

"Jo's on the phone" Cristina says seriously.

I stand up quickly feeling tipsy and disoriented. This is too much to handle. I can't be her friend right now, even if I want to.

"Jo?" I ask.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"Uh-uh"

"You don't sound okay" she says.

"Come over" she says without giving me time to respond what she said before.

"I'll be there in five minutes" I say.

Izzie stands up. "I see you are busy, I'll call you tomorrow" she says with a forced fake smile.

I try to say something but nothing comes out so instead I nod.

"What was that all about?" "Why was she crying?" Cristina asks.

"I ruined her life, Cristina"

Thank you for all the follows, fav and reviews. Ill be updating shortly.


	12. Spice

**Alex POV**

I arrive to the hospital feeling sick, I can feel the little food I ate this morning rushing up through my throat and then back. I step out of my car and start walking fastly, every step I take feels heavier on my whole body, _so much guilt,_ _so fast, so unexpected, how can I make it stop? _I enter the hospital increasing my speed and ignoring everybody on my way. I can feel my face grimacing.

"Alex, slow down. Please wait" asks Jackson with wide eyes.

I sigh and try to shun my way out of him.

"Are you seriously trying to body block me?" I ask.

Jackson folds his arms and lifts one eyebrow.

-"I just need someone to talk to and you haven´t been around much, I dont mean to sound selfish, I know you´ve got alot going on but..."he says.

I sigh, this time longer.

"We can talk later, I´ve gotta go see Jo" I answer and head up to Jo´s room.

"I was starting to worry" Jo says relieved.

I enter the room, close the door and run up to her bed.

"I´m sorry, I promise I will explain everything" I say.

"You know I trust you, you´ll tell me when you are ready or when you want to" She says.

"God, I missed you so much and it wasn´t even that long" I say embarassed.

"At least you were out there doing something, look at me, imagine how much I missed you" She says showing off her radiant smile.´"Do you want to lay down" She asks.

I nod and climb up with her. I cover her up with the sheets and put my arm around her waist in a protective way, I sigh in relief and place a small kiss on her cheek. The nausea was gone but I could still feel the guilt.

"How are you feeling, you know, is the treatment working?, are you starting to feel good again?" I ask.

She turns around to face me.

" Im almost good as new, I kinda still can´t believe it, it was a miracle that I survived, I´ve never had anyone that cared this much for me, Alex." " I think it was fate, that I survived and you were here, I can´t imagine going through all of this alone, you know. I always screw everything up, anyway, I´m alone here alot and I think alot. All of my life I´ve thought what´s the point, I didn´t want to have a routine, routines become boring and then we die. I´ve always felt like this. Until you came, you made every day feel like a journey and you made me realize that life actually had a point, I love you and I worry for you and I want you to know that it´s okay because I´m here and I´m not leaving" She says gripping my hand.

I place my palm on her cheek and caress it. " I know you aren´t leaving, that´s what´s holding me together these days" I mutter.

"What´s worrying you, Alex?" She asks agonized.

"I really think I ruined Izzie´s life, She made me feel so guilty. It´s not fair" "She´s still in love with me" I blurt out.

"Oh... Well, that´s a surprise, considering it´s been almost four years" She says.

"You don´t have to worry" I say. "Whatever I felt for her is gone, Im in love with you and nothing is going to change that" I say smiling.

Jo sits up and pushes her hair back. " It´s just that, she was your wife and I´m just, you know, me"

"I promise that there is nothing for you to worry about. She will be gone soon, I just have to clear things up with her and talk, I guess". "I need to stop feeling so guilty" I say.

"Alex, she left you and you were her husband I just... It´s unfair that you feel this guilty"

"I know" I say.

"Let´s just lay here for a while" She says and I nod.

"We will be fine" I say rubbing her arm.

"I´ll tell her what I think and that all my feelings for her are now gone, it´s ok" I say with a reassuring voice.

She nods and grabs my hand.

* * *

"What did you get for dinner?" I ask.

"Oh darn, today was my call?" Cristina asks back.

I stare back at her and raise my eyebrows, shrugging.

"I forgot. Owen´s got my mind kinda busy these days, you know, all the hot, hot dirty secret sex we have" She says smirking. "I´m sure you are getting some, we used to call you evil spawn for a reason". "Anyway, I forgot. Let´s order In"

"Pizza or Indian?" I ask.

"I´m in the mood of spicy food. Goes good with spicy details" She says.

"God, too much sex with Owen is really making you go loco" I say.

"You are just jealous" She says.

Cristina orders Indian and we wait patiently leaning on the kitchen counter.

"Enogugh rambling, Alex" "What was Izzie doing here, did she want something?, is she coming back for a job?"

"I knew you were going to ask me about that" I say leaning forward on the counter. " I was supossed to talk to her tonight, but she never called and to be honest I´m not really looking forward to continue last night´s conversation" I say.

"Of course I´m going to ask you, I care about you" She says. "Now, let´s get to the point, why is she here"

I groan. "Well, she say´s that she´s still in love with me" I say.

"You´ve gotta be kidding me" Cristina says. "She´s the bitch who sent you the OFFICIAL divorce papers and didn´t return your phone calls", "She´s the one who came back only to leave for good the day after. You were by her side all the way through her cancer, and honestly, so was I. She acted really ungratefully towards us, who really showed support and love"

"I think she knows I´m over her, the recovery time was painfull but I got over her and I´m a new person now, that´s why I think It´s kinda´ unfair of her part to come now. I don´t know what she expects me to do or how to react." I´ve always cared for her and I always will care, but not in _that _way anymore, you get me?" I say.

"Perfectly" Cristina says. "Our past always comes back to haunt us in the most unexpected and difficult moments of our lives. It´s just the way it is, Just talk to her and clarify everything".

We hear the bell. "Must be the food" Cristina say´s with a bubbly voice.

"Good, God. What happened to you and why are you alone?" Cristina asks.

I rush to the entrance door.

...

Sorry its kinda short, I´ll upload the exciting part shortly, I´m very sorry for all the time I took. I´ve been very busy this month with school, hope you understand. Thank you for reading and for the reviews, follows, fav, etc. 3 You are the best

"


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